D.R.U.N.K.A.R.D.S

Captured phantoms
Fading souls
Hollowed pieces
Trapped in endless empty plains
Eclipses of despair dancing to drowsy beats of concocted reproach
Echoes of self-loathe drifting out of surrendered worth
Chasing dangerous excitements
Lives ebbing away
Gulp by gulp

Thoughts About A Father

Walking through fallowed fields of my soul

Happy memories of a father

The price of precious pursuits

The charm of unfeigned sobriety

The endearing portrait of virility

The assurance of strident care

The fervency of fortitude

A surreal thesis of fatherhood

Engrafted upon my heart

Generic Taxi Driver

The amplitude of his suffocating thickness
The unbearable drama of crude dense-ness
Pigheaded brat
Roadhogging rat
First he cuts right in front of me
Screeched to a halt right ahead of me
Then proceeds to show me his middle finger
My attempt to move to the right lane
Provokes his insanity to do the same
Who else but the generic taxi driver

A Project within a Project

One late Thursday evening
Recently
In my favoured corner
In a corporate reading room
All by myself
Tackling a CBA project
Lost in the heated permutations of deadlines
Surreptitiously I feel the probing stare
I turn
First
To the left
Then
To the right
To a great view
From a window
In the opposite office
A pair of beautiful smiling eyes
Starring coquettishly
Hands-on-the-hips invitation
I wave
Wondering. . .
Is that for me?
Waves of rapid permutations float through my mind
Then I remember I have a presentation
Early Friday morning

National Cleavage Day 2010

National Cleavage Day is here. Again!
Today, I hear, is officially NCD.
So here is a toast to this year's 'celebration'.
What should people wear to celebrate?
Dark glasses, I say!

Contemporary Ghanaian Contrivances

Living outside the borders of Ghana, as I do, one of the few self-preserving delusions I allow myself to harbor and indulge in regularly is this puritanical and idealistic image of Ghana and Ghanaians-the feel-good this-type-of-sh*t-can-never-happen-in-Ghana lines, refrains and pretences Ghanaians so love to carry like a badge of honour.
Perhaps, like many a Ghanaian, I have developed an image of Ghana largely based on false idealism- a hollow concept that places Ghana on an impeccable pedestal of high moral excellence.
On many occasions, I have found myself comparing the Ghanaian way of life to those of other people, cultures and value systems and puffing out my chest proudly in the belief that our way, the Ghanaian way, is far superior. I have always contented myself - that Ghanaians are not criminally minded as others; that the cases of teenage pregnancies in Ghana is below the continental average even though I do not have the facts to support such an assertion; that Ghanaians are a breed of hard-working geniuses; that Ghanaian men do not rape their women and girls; that our education system is one of the best, if not the best in the whole continent; that Ghanaians are the most friendly and peace-loving people in the entire world. . . . .I suppose that I am referring to my own irrational assumptions of Ghanaian exceptionalism.
I am perfectly aware of the fact that Ghana is far from this idyllic picture of perfection I have chosen to believe in, however I cannot seem to bring myself to admit that the view I hold of Ghana, when outside, is outright naive, unreasonable and even deceptive. Call it patriotism, nationalism or whatever you like.
Every time I am in Ghana, my idealist views come into sharp confrontation with what pertains in the real world of today's Ghana. But as soon as I am outside Ghana's borders, guess what, the same idiosyncratic mindset creeps in. So today I want to dwell on some Ghanaians peculiarities for a change.
This preconceived Ghanaian 'superiority complex' has got to go.
To accept an image of Ghana which is totally different from the enormously deficient one I have been carrying, I believe, is the beginning of a therapeutic release from my self-imposed idealism. So? ? ?
Here are a few of my observations regarding the absurd contrivances we so cherish and love to pursue.
Our funerals
We are a bunch who love entertainment. So we even trivialise the funerals of our departed ones and turn what is supposed to be solemn moments into mindless occasions for parties, where all sorts of debauchery are not only permitted but encouraged with glee. How we love to lavish attention on the dead as supposed to the living! No wonder funerals are the primary occasions where families and communities come together. In many cultures, a funeral is short and simple-solely built around bidding farewell to the dead.Nothing more nothing less.
Our cultural mindset is the opposite. We are always looking back such that we place obscene value on what is dead and past and not enough focus on the future, on our children, our jobs and our dreams.
Perhaps, it is a symptom of our collective fear of the future? So we hold unto the past?
Valentine day celebrations
Not only have we embrace the vanities of other cultures but have jump into them head first. A case in point is the celebration of valentine day. We have managed to take it to levels previously unheard of any where else. Husbands leaving their wives at home and splurging on mistresses and other people's wives with wanton gifts they cannot afford, whilst their children walk around in tattered clothes. Misplaced priorities.
Sakawa
The get-rich-quick by-all-means phenomenon of sakawa is another contrivance in Ghana today. We have perfected the science of swindling other people of their hard-earned money for our selfish use.
We have become a society gripped by the urgency of 'having, using and enjoying' instead of one concerned with 'doing, creating and becoming'. And the sad reality is that nobody bothers any more to ascertain the source of people's wealth.
To us wealth is wealth irrespective of the source and the processes involved in its acquisition. That is why many Ghanaians never bother to learn and develop the habits, skills and the value systems needed to create wealth for ourselves and our communities.
Disregard for integrity
We are as vain as it gets. Most of us claim to be believers but our actions do not bear testimony to our faith. The idea of integrity is a foreign concept to most Ghanaians. Our own kith and kin do not brink when it comes to taking advantage of us. Comfort and convenience triumphs over integrity and accountability in our corner of the world.

And I think that we are not as awesome as we think we are!

Contesting Realities

On this side of the political wasteland
The real unending terrain of utter depravity
Sustained purely by auspicious idealism
In a world of
Unfettered neighbourliness
Obscene warmth
Colour
Culture
Humanity
Great Friendships
Genuine selflessness
Gifts of beautiful smiles
And little else
But chronic anger
At
That side of the divide
The mundane world of the privileged
Inhabited by sub-souls devoid of ubuntu
Driven by rat race persuasions
The neo-apartheid world of heartless realism
With their
Cocooned spaces
Celebrated self-imprisonment
Emotional coldness and distances
Personalised boundaries and walls
Obscene consumerism
Incorrigible selfishness
Rotten personalities
Disdainful attitudes
Repulsive glares of wanton animosity
And mulish conformity


Having tasted the free lunch of the looted kind
They want more
And more
Now they have forgotten how to be human
How did these ordinary folks become such utter degenerates?
Letting themselves go so far
Becoming slaves in a world of no return
I dread a monumental collision of these contesting realities
Is there a way out?

Val On My Mind

There is this thing, erh, . . . dread?, apprehension?, drama?, failure?, . . . squatting on my mind.
Last year, I received a traumatic post-valentine reprimand.
Got brutally lectured to by MW( my woman) in the theory and practice of valentine, i.e the romantics extraordinaire that is supposed to flow effortlessly from me to her for the purpose of advertising and magnifying her super specialness. Apparently I got a big fat F for the effort.
I must confess. I have painfully tried to be romantic. But it appears the more I try, the more frustration it breeds. It is official: I am hopelessly unromantic. Perhaps even anti-romantic!
The problem is MW still thinks I have the potential to become Mr romantic if only I would let loose what she calls "that special thing sitting within my heart".
I have searched over and over again and I regret to conclude that, like the elusive G-spot, there is no special thing sitting in my heart for valentine. I think this whole valentine thing sucks!
So I have given up on ever making the valentine grade.
Pathetic is not strong enough a word to explain what I know will happen tomorrow.
BTW, I am not even sure why it is so important to try to pretend that I am in some sort of romantic mode when clearly I am not. Why should it be so difficult for folks to understand that valentine is nothing more than a savage commercial ploy meant to fatten the suckers.
MW must surely KNOW that I love her valentine or no valentine.
The problem is getting her to buy that in the face of all the retarded marketing gimmicks going on everywhere one looks.
So folks. Say a little prayer for me as you read this. Or else. . .

Not Tonight

'Hi, can we meet at my place tonight?', he asked. Charmingly.
'Not tonight, I am sorry, erh. . .', she replied apologetically. Her tone flaccid as one waiting to be persuaded to give in.
'Why the hell not. . .?', he interjected. Confident.
'I am purifying myself for the once-in-a-month treat for my hubby this weekend', she emphasized unashamedly.
'Okay. . .', he gasped. Shocked. Bemused. He looked around as if to make sure nobody else heard what he has just heard.
'. . . bye', she hanged up. Gazing at the cellphone for a brief moment. Before strutting off. Home bound, happy that she has managed to have her way this time.

They stole my Blogoversary!

Yesterday was the first anniversary of this blog.
My first post 'the portrait of Disappointment' was published on August 11, 2008.
Yesterday, I had planned to write a celebratory post- something sweet and positive.
Alas my plans came crashing down because of one very unpleasant event.
Yesterday afternoon, a few minutes past 1pm , I received a call from my wife that our home had been broken into. Yap! The thieving gang had visited again in our absence.
I had to leave the office driving like crazy to go and check on the what the gang had wrought!
Thank God they only managed to break two glass windows of the guest bedroom. They could not lay their cursed hands on anything in the house.
A lady staying in the neighbouring house saw the two-man team hard at work and shouted at them from across the wall and phoned the police. The police responded pretty fast. At least three police cars were there within five minutes of being contacted.
The security buzzer/alarm went off and the security company, ADT, was also on the property almost at the same time.
By the time I reached home the place was swarming with police officers and security guards.
The gang though had long bolted into thin air.
So that is how two sons of belial stole my first blogoversary.
I am pissed off like you won't believe.

Malcolm Gladwell's BLINK is a Superb Read

I am in book mode like you won't believe it!
I love books, good books. But sometimes it becomes almost impossible to get quality time to indulge.
So early this week, I decided to make time and go on a date with two of the reads I was given some time ago. At present I am almost done reading ‘blink: the power of thinking without thinking’.
The author, Malcolm Gladwell, who wrote also ‘The Tipping Point’-a phenomenal bestseller.
Born in London to a black Jamaican ( Denise's compatriot) mother and an English maths teacher, he grew up in Canada. ‘Blink’ is an fabulously good read. It is a book that helps to develop one’s intuitive capabilities and teaches how to trust one's gut especially in moments when one needs to make a decision on the spur.
If you see this book, get it like you would a bullion of gold. If there are any good reads you care to recommend, please, do so.
Got to go. The books are calling.

Irresponsibility: The Bane Of The Land

I had always thought that the suburb where I stay was endurably safe for my family. Such a conclusion is probable still true, in spite of the fact that our house was burgled in broad daylight the same week we moved in. In addition to the raid on our property, our weekly community newspaper regularly comes out with reports of enormously hideous crimes in the area.
We are eternally grateful to God that we were not at home when those brutes decided to come for what did not belong to them; all the electronic gadgets in the house.

A few nights ago, around midnight, I was brutally awakened out of my precious sleep by what appeared to be loud bangs. Then it dawned on me. What I was hearing was in fact a rapid barrage of gunshots and a car-chase on a nearby street only a few metres from our house. On and on it went down the street in the quiet of the night until the fading sounds of the bullets could no longer be heard.

I could not go back to sleep anymore that night. But that was not the only bad thing that happened to me that night.
The proximity of that chilling episode got me greatly worried about the security of my family. Even though our house has been armed with a good security alarm system, we have primed ourselves to be extra careful twenty-four seven since then.
We cannot afford to take anything for granted anymore.
Many thoughts and scenarios have criss-crossed my mind over and over again ever since that drama took place.

Why is crime so pervasive in our part of the world? Why it is that crime in our society is not only prevalent, but also so gratuitous.
The criminals do not hesitate to rape, torture and kill their victims. It is only in our society where criminals spend hours in the homes of victims indulging in sadism, such as pouring boiling water on their victims, raping the women as they force the men to watch and repeatedly burning the bodies of their victims with hot irons while mocking them.
Our shopping malls, roads, homes, schools, hospitals and even churches have all been turned into war zones.
No where is save any more when the residence of the deputy president of the Republic can be brazenly burgled without people being overly shocked.

The question is how did it get so awfully bad?
How could the entire country, every corner of it, be held hostage by thugs and hardened criminals?
Where is the hiding place of this monster?
It is as if our communities have become massive crime labs and factories where criminal minds are being churned out in huge numbers.
It is evidently clear that something is terrible wrong with the society, with our value systems and with us as families and individuals.
As when an auto-immune disease starts to devastate the body, the elements waging this relentless war against the body are not external but from within the body itself.
Ours is a mutating infestation. A debilitating plaque. An apoptotic disorder of a systemic nature.
Here is what I think.
As much as we all would like to point fingers at others and apportion blame on some mysterious monster somewhere, we will be lying to ourselves if we allow the obvious truth about crime to escape us.
Crime in our society has everything to do with the culture of irresponsibility and impunity.
Until we as individuals, as families and as communities begin to embrace an attitude of responsibility, we will forever remain oblivious to our own role in nurturing this invasive culture of crime.
Let the charity of responsibility begin at your own home.
Cheers!

Guy Words vs Gal Words

I have finally come to terms with the fact, and painfully so, that my social skills need a little bit of polishing. Ouch!
I dreadfully suspect that I am one of those individuals who are nondescriptly labelled social late-bloomers, aka nerds; the socially-deviant species with an extremely high affinity for technical facts & figures and other technocratic bragging rights and appear to possess an unbearable 'book-long' knowledge about everything but absolutely nothing about street-wise social skills. Certain facts and obvious social issues which are common knowledge to almost everybody who has lived on planet earth in the last hundred years are only now creeping in on me. Lol
Come to think of it, my nerdy self has been busy trying to master the so-called ‘critical’ skills, but has, until now, been totally oblivious to the fact that social skills are the fundamental tools needed to function effectively in every facet of society.
Excellence in, for example, computational mathematics and other high-end technical skills without the relevant social skills will only lead to intellectual frustration.
One of the ‘discoveries’ I have recently made, concerns the different baskets of common vocabulary of men and women. I have all along assumed that guys and gals mean the same thing when they use the same words.
The truth is that the intentions behind the use of many words are gender-specific. Which means that, guys and gals ‘comprehend’ words differently and therefore may use similar words to convey entirely different meanings.
I am told that many managers, these days, take their time to make sure that their speeches and presentations are packed with gender-neutral terms to really get across the gender divide.
Makes me wonder if I did really 'understood' any of the conversations I ever had with any member of the opposite sex and in the same way whether they understood me the way I intended.
I really believe that the number one reason why there are so many break-ups in relationships is the way the two sexes (mis)communicate to each another.
I really hope one day someone will make a gender-specific dictionary so that guys like me can somehow understand the meaning of some of the gal-words that I hear around me.


Just this week, two ladies were heard making similar remarks about two male colleagues around the office.
They called those fine gentlemen … erhm, j.e.r.k.s!
Then it hit me that I have never heard a guy use that word before to describe a woman or another man.
I suspect that ‘jerk’ is a gal-word. One of the killer words in the female vocabulary toolbox which, in my mind, girls use to convey an idea of a low life, the lowest form of the male specie. A disgusting piece of work to the female species.
However to my male soul, that word, jerk, whatever it means, does not convey an idea of utter disgust at all. In fact I have to admit that when a woman calls a man a jerk, the picture I get is a really fine gentleman who is completely misunderstood by women. Period!
Seriously, when a gal calls a guy a jerk my mind ‘sees’ a guy that finds it difficult to understand the female psychology, but otherwise a perfectly normal chap. In my mind, any decent man can be called a jerk simply because he has not mastered the fine art of dealing with the opposite sex.
It appears to me that most of the women who resort to that term do so because of an ugly experience with a man or men.
I guess women in general have certain inherent expectations of manliness in terms of attitudes, conducts, ambitions and how men are supposed to treat a woman.
The guy who scores anything below that imaginary baseline in the head of the fairer sex is unfortunately called a jerk.


Guys on the other hand use terms like bimbo to describe some women.A bimbo is perhaps the female equivalent of a jerk. Don’t get me wrong I am only guessing. Besides, I said perhaps!When a guy calls a woman a bimbo, what goes through his mind is a sort of hare-brained creature crawling all over the place seeking for some guy to grind her good.
A materialistic woman without any values whatsoever ; a woman solely given to creature comforts without any aspirations beyond the mundane issues of life.
A bimbo is that non-wife material that hangs around the corner in different seductive poses.I really doubt that a woman understands that term in the same way as a guy does.

So guys and gals share with me the guy-words and gal-words you often use.
As a guy, I really would like the ladies to paint clearly to me, beyond the dictionary-speak, the following:
(a) what sort of guy would you call a ‘jerk’?

(b) do you always call every man who breaks up with you a ‘jerk’?

(c) what goes through your mind and body when you use that term to describe a guy?

I am so keen to learn this sort of rocket science for the purpose of self-education as well as being a mentor to others in my corner.
Please help a late bloomer!

Contemplations

"I am a watcher

I came as a visitor and

I am still watching my mind now"

. . . Zim Ngqawana

I think that I am entering a new phase in my life. I sense within me a shift of priorities.

I am certainly entering a new phase in my life, spiritually speaking, where I sense the need to always weigh personal ambitions against the welfare of those around me.

The quest for a personal, practical and fine balance between the intellect and intuition all of a sudden seems like a wholesome pursuit worthy of a life-long commitment.

There was a time in my life, when I was hard-hearted, uncaring and ungrateful.

Today. I see myself differently. I am learning to bring a sense of balance in my life. I am learning to prioritize and live by a value system based primarily on elevating the concerns and needs of those around me, my loved ones, above my own.

Selflessness, empathy and the desire to treat others with honour have always been part of my life, but now it seems to me that I am awakening to a much higher level of relationship with others.

I am asking myself whether I have been missing the human experience all along?

I am wondering if I am, perhaps, stepping into sentimentality? I am really not sure.

These are some of the issues gripping my mind as I begin the first week of June.

I have got to go. Bye.

Do you Believe In Visions?

Early this morning, whilst having my quiet time, I had a closed vision.
A really exciting vision if you ask me.
I saw a green bucket half-filled with nominal cash sitting before me.
Also in my hands was a huge bundle of cash in the same currency.
It was a really short vision. Just as it came, it suddenly went.
It appeared to me as if I was removing the white strips of paper binding the cash, counting it and then placing it in the bucket.

I am still trying to understand the vision.
Three things are clear though.

• A green bucket ?????????????????
• Lots of crisp cash in an unknown currency ?
• Cash was properly bundled in white paper strips ?

If you really understand visions( not dreams because I was awake), please help me out here with understanding.