Tuesday, February 23, 2010

You Cross Your Legs, I Cross My Heart

What do you expect?
A waspish lecture on openness?
Yes my heart is crossed
Because all evening your legs have been crossed
Is the hard fact

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Val On My Mind

There is this thing, erh, . . . dread?, apprehension?, drama?, failure?, . . . squatting on my mind.
Last year, I received a traumatic post-valentine reprimand.
Got brutally lectured to by MW( my woman) in the theory and practice of valentine, i.e the romantics extraordinaire that is supposed to flow effortlessly from me to her for the purpose of advertising and magnifying her super specialness. Apparently I got a big fat F for the effort.
I must confess. I have painfully tried to be romantic. But it appears the more I try, the more frustration it breeds. It is official: I am hopelessly unromantic. Perhaps even anti-romantic!
The problem is MW still thinks I have the potential to become Mr romantic if only I would let loose what she calls "that special thing sitting within my heart".
I have searched over and over again and I regret to conclude that, like the elusive G-spot, there is no special thing sitting in my heart for valentine. I think this whole valentine thing sucks!
So I have given up on ever making the valentine grade.
Pathetic is not strong enough a word to explain what I know will happen tomorrow.
BTW, I am not even sure why it is so important to try to pretend that I am in some sort of romantic mode when clearly I am not. Why should it be so difficult for folks to understand that valentine is nothing more than a savage commercial ploy meant to fatten the suckers.
MW must surely KNOW that I love her valentine or no valentine.
The problem is getting her to buy that in the face of all the retarded marketing gimmicks going on everywhere one looks.
So folks. Say a little prayer for me as you read this. Or else. . .

Friday, February 5, 2010

Not Tonight

'Hi, can we meet at my place tonight?', he asked. Charmingly.
'Not tonight, I am sorry, erh. . .', she replied apologetically. Her tone flaccid as one waiting to be persuaded to give in.
'Why the hell not. . .?', he interjected. Confident.
'I am purifying myself for the once-in-a-month treat for my hubby this weekend', she emphasized unashamedly.
'Okay. . .', he gasped. Shocked. Bemused. He looked around as if to make sure nobody else heard what he has just heard.
'. . . bye', she hanged up. Gazing at the cellphone for a brief moment. Before strutting off. Home bound, happy that she has managed to have her way this time.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

How Do You Outsmart The Bully @ Work?

The workplace is for work. Period.
But for some folks, it is a war zone.
What do you do if your place of work becomes an unpleasant space of emotional bullying.
How do you deal with an aggressive, nasty, menacing and terrorising manager.
A friend's nephew, a recent graduate, is contemplating leaving his first ever job after just 5 months. The team leader at the place where he works, a middle age woman of a different race, is bullying the crap out of him like you would not believe.
My opinion was sought as to how to deal with the issue. And it occurred to me that I have not had any real experience with that sort of thing. My take was for the young man to ignore the abhorrent behaviour of the sadist and carry on with his work. But it appears the guy is not able to tolerate the problematic lady any longer.
To be frank, I really don't know of a better way to handle such a problem.
Perhaps, some of us are blessed with a thick skin so much so that we do not even notice all the crap going on around us.
Has anybody got any experiences to share concerning workplace bullying.