Friday, January 30, 2009

Size Does More Than Matter!

A group of young testosterone-driven obrunis pitch up in a drinking hole in Durban.
Their mission: to have a jolly good time on a weekend night out.
A while later 3 young men of Indian descent pop into the same venue.
Paths meet and they start to drink and chat. Macho bragging enters the fray.
Throw into the pot an orgasmic argument about the sizes of their genitalia.
Racial egos flare up overheating the already deadly inferno.
Infuriated, the trio pull out only to return minutes later armed
with deadly weapons to despense justice their own way.
A few seconds later, 4 of the obrunis lay dead. Who told you size does not matter?
The 3 are now awaiting trial and needless to say, it is not just their egos that have shrunk in size.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Enigmatic Persona

Here is what I dearly wish I could clone of her for eternity:
that love so raw, so pure, so secure
that smile so calming, so disarming, so embalming
that attitude so embracing, so enchanting, so captivating
that friendship so genuine, so courteous, so precious
that touch so serene, so flitting, so paralysing
those eyes so gracious, so revealing, so teasing
those lips so intense, so provocative, so seductive.
To you who is so addictive, so enigmatic, so magnetic
Let us frame the moments and seasons for times yet to come.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

If Broke Fix It

I am finding it pretty difficult to get over the shenanigans of the present political dispensation in Ghana.
According to the transition team of the Atta Mills' administration, Ghana is broke.
Big deal!
As far as the macro-economic outlook and prospects for the economy to absorb further investments are concerned, Ghana's economic situation has never been better since the days of Kwame Nkrumah. I believe that the economy is in a good shape.
Even though Atta Mills and the NDC have won the elections and are therefore supposed to be governing, they are acting and behaving as if they are still the party in opposition.
The standard democratic principle is that the ruling party must be concerned with solution-finding, whereas the political opposition does its best to fault the policies and plans of the government! Heck no. They are still doing what they have been doing for the past 8 years.
More time is being wasted on spin, fault-finding and criticising the government that is no longer in power every day. If indeed Ghana is broke, where are the innovative responses to get the country back on track? Where is the urgency?
What people expect of the new administration is that leadership is provided and the cause of Ghana advanced. Instead we have paralysis of leadership and a total lack of urgency.
When is John Atta Mills ever going to really begin his responsibilities as the President of the Republic? He is behaving like a President in the last days of Office rather than one who has is just beginning.
The utter lack of dynamism, rigor and passion on the part of our new President is becoming a pain in the groin!

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Unmanly Tinkering!

I am making a prediction, no wait, a very dire prediction.
Unless an antidotal intervention arises on the horizon very soon, there will be no more 'real' men around in the next 100 to 200 years. That is if we are still here by then.
There is a growing body of evidence that suggest that more and more men are developing breasts and many other anatomical features commonly associated with the fairer gender.
With the increasing inundation of our food and water sources with growth hormones which are mostly oestrogen-based formulas, men are becoming, in a real sense, what they are eating and drinking!
Almost every meat and dairy produce in the supermarket today is sourced from commercial farms where insanely high doses of these growth hormones are administered to the livestock to induce a supercharged rate of growth and maturation for quick profit .
Again the sewerage-treatment facilities in many cities were not designed to trap these growth hormones thereby leading to high oestrogen concentrations in our supposedly treated water! The water flowing in the taps is literally not male-friendly.
With double D cap size frontals, an unsightly goods-train proportion of body and belly, and x-large package of emotions, welcome the hormones-tinkered species of a man!

Monday, January 19, 2009

After "Antoa Nyamaa"ing Their Way Into Power, Now What?

Now that the elections are over and the newly-crowned champions are busy showing off their muscles all over the place, I want to blog about one of the most ugly aspect of the electoral campaigns. And that, has to do with the propensity with which some of our politicians were invoking the name of "antoa nyamaa" particularly in the Ashanti Region.
The whole barbaric practice of cursing one's political opponents, in my books, did reveal a lot about the state of mind of some of the politicians who having suffered for eight long years in the wilderness, were hellbent on ruling Ghana by any means, foul or otherwise.
Antoa, to them, was like the magic wand that unfailingly answers the abracadabra chants big time. During the campaigns, every time they didn't get their way, they pushed the panic button with thuggish abandon for this spiritual macho man, their angel of host, to come down and wreak havoc on their political enemies.
Supposing that no Ghanaian will dare stand in their way because of our collective terror of being pummeled instantaneously into the afterlife by antoa nyamaa, certain members of the ex-while opposition party made a continuous ritual of threatening people big-time with antoa.
And just like the 'kaakaamotobi' scare tactics used by adults during my childhood, the fear of this national (or is it an Ashanti ) kaakaamotobi seems to have terrified Ghanaians into voting massively for the scaremongers. Hehehe?
Having developed such an unparalleled appetite for calling upon antoa whilst in opposition, I wonder to what extent the believers will go to appease it(?), now that antoa has delivered the goods?
Atta Mills is a decent dude by Ghanaians, but the crowd around him is manifestly an uncool antoa-loving, juju-seeking, mallam-come and-club-this chap-for-me mob. You don't believe me? Read this and this.
I hope juju, antoa nyamaa, mallam(marabou) and other forms of witchcraft do not become national pastimes and sought-after means to attain political power in Ghana.

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Enormity Of The Skirted Portions

The enormity of the skirted portions demands examinations of skillful proportions.
Like a mountain duo thrown behind to incite confusion,
she possesses the hinds to decide co-fusion.
To every provocative contour, surely an equal and opposite evocative encounter.
To Newton she counters: where are the matching enchanters?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

A Snoozing President, A Choatic Transition And A Nation in Need of Therapy!

There is a disturbing trend slowly evolving in the supposedly "better Ghana" under the watch, oops, the snooze of John Atta-Mills.
If the 'performance' of John Atta-Mills over the past week has any correlation with his oversung leadership credentials, then there is absolutely no hope for Ghana for the next four years.
How the chap has managed to self-induce himself into such a state of clinical comatose is beyond logic.
From the week-long demonstration he has thus far provided, it appears to me that, Atta-Mills is either clueless of what is expected of him and as a result he is incapable of dealing with the tragedy already brewing right under his nose or he is not really in charge of the affairs of state.
First. The disgraceful, highhanded, unwarranted and vexatious confiscation of vehicles from their rightful owners at the DVLA by a mufti-attired gang under the pretense that the vehicles belonged to the state.
How can a government, oops, a team that promised a clean, accountable, and respectful services to Ghanaians begin on such a shocking note of disservice.
Having bungled a simple exercise of verification of ownership of vehicles, the team in total humiliation had to return the ceased vehicles to the owners.
Why can't issues be resolved in an orderly manner? What happened to the rule by the law, or is the NDC now the law unto themselves?
Second. The Victor Smith mafia-like storming of the castle with another gang of mufti-attired hoodlums to supposedly stop members of the out-going government from looting state vehicles.
This turned out to be a complete alarmist faux pas. A really stupid action, if you ask me.
Why are these people behaving like they are taking over the country through a coup d'etat. There are procedures and rules of engagement that are supposed to be followed so that we don't appear as fools in the eyes of the world. But hey, these are not the type that follow the law!
How can they say that they are defending the interests of the state when their actions are against the jurisprudence of the state they purport to be defending.
This banana- republic mentality is so primitive!
Third. The senseless and fatal shooting of a Ghanaian-American tourist in Saltpond. An innocent human being killed like a dog. The executioners of this young man were of the very same mufti-attired brigade, who we are told 'mistook' the young man riding a motorbike for a common criminal and therefore decided to make him wet.
How can Ghana all of a sudden descend into such state of lawlessness and impunity at the very birth of the Atta-Mills presidency?
All these three guerrilla-style incidents are linked to the direct involvement of the 64 Battalion of the Ghana Armed Forces. Apparently, this unit is a remnant of the notorious commando structures which existed under Rawlings' brutal PNDC regime.
Now do you see where the real instructions are coming from?
The most savage actions reminiscent of the PNDC era are the reported takeover of the operation of toilets in Ashaiman by NDC functionaries, the dislodging of tenants perceived to be NPP by their NDC landlords as well as the daily beatings being meted out to NPP supporters by NDC members throughout the country.
Why is the president keeping mum whilst all these atrocities are taking place?
Now the one who cannot keep his mouth shut has started airing his displeasure whilst the snoozing one continues to snore in blissful disregard.
[They will not tolerate the poverty of inaction or perhaps the poverty of action is what he meant. ]

Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Hide and Seek Has Begun

The speed with which our newly-crowned president has decided to dish all the pressing matters on his table in order to attend the extra-ordinary session of ECOWAS can not be simply explained by an agape love for the citizens of Guinea nor can it be explained by the dearth of suitable officials to represent him in Abuja. JAM had to be there because it was the only suitable way to get away from the pressure from the powers that be.
Me-thinks the dude used the ECOWAS meeting to dash away from the incessant calls coming from the generalissimo of his party's to come for the list of ministers he must appoint in the cabinet.
JAM has to devise a much more persuasive means of avoiding the inevitable arm-twisting than running to Nigeria. He simply must stand upon his two feet and make it clear to EVERYBODY that he is charge from now on. Perhaps he also wanted to meet the Man of God in Nigeria who, I am told, prayed him into Golden Jubilee House.[Read This]
Meanwhile did you hear that Victor Smith, the ex- charge d'affairs of JJ Rawlings, charged into Osu Castle like a hungry hippopotamus with a band of loyal soldiers to lay claim to all the keys of state vehicles?
Now look at where his priorities lie: cars!
It is time for them also to ride and ride they will big-time.
The gravy train is about to depart from the station.


The world, particularly the developed north, is getting increasingly obsessed with issues of the environment and there appears to be a desperate attempt to mobilize the entire world with an almost messianic zeal to salvage the planet and consequently safeguard the future of the inhabitants of our planet.
The prevailing paradigm, until now, has always been: human development and advancement by any means. As a result, many nations over the years never had second thoughts about savaging, polluting and raping the environment in the name of development and advancement and in the process have ended up messing the delicate ecosystems.
Today we are being told by the principal perpetrators of the environmental damages that ‘something’ has to be done by all nations including those of us who are still ‘developing’ to reverse the degradation. Some years ago the depletion of the ozone layer was the single most important concern of the environmentally–conscious ones amongst us. All manners of predictions were made about the inevitable annihilation of all earthlings should we fail to cut down on CFCs and other ozone depletion chemicals. Kyoto was another global attempt to curtail the incessant pumping of toxic chemicals into the environment. Kyoto flopped as a result of the refusal of the US to agree to the quota and deadlines because it would have made the US economy less competitive. Then came carbon trading. Where nations or institutions could use their forest resources as a sort of counter-party to another entity that is prepared to pay them for the pollution of their industrial activities.
The latest buzz word is enoughism: the gilt-driven arm-twisting tool of the wealthy environmentalists to bulldoze every body into loathing over-consumption and the amassing of ridiculous amounts of material and financial possessions.
According to the gurus of enoughism, the incessant acquisitiveness associated with modern life can lead to dissatisfaction which, I am told, is the highway to most mental disorders.

Duh!, Can you think of any twaddle worse than this? This is so rich coming from those who have never experienced poverty in a life time! Do the proponents of this new-age philosophy know anything about the dissatisfaction of those who have nothing?
I want to tell all the enoughists: talk is cheap, give all your possessions away!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

We Have A Nerd In The Golden Jubilee House

Today, 7 January 2009, the presidency of the Republic of Ghana has changed hands, after a solemn and colourful ceremony, from J A Kuffour(JAK) to John Atta-Mills(JAM), the quiet, charisma-bypassed technocrat with a penchant for dogged inconspicuousness.
Unlike JJ Rawlings, who loved to have the headlights exclusively focused upon himself, John Atta-Mills by comparison likes to stay behind the scenes.
An almost avowed style of embellished silence coupled with a preference for invisibility defines this former Professor of law. A style that blends quintessentially Ghanaian humility with a streak of disguised discomfort for the limelight, JAM is first and foremost a nerd.
The average Ghanaians is used to the cowboy antics of JJ and JAK’s iffy “fa ma nyame” approach to dealing with difficult situations, however the uber-scholarly disposition of JAM has not been witnessed in Ghana’s realpolitik since the days of KA Busia, K Nkrumah, JB Danquah et al.
What are we to expect from The JAM presidency?
Is JAM a big-ideas person in the mould of K Nkrumah?
So far he has not manifested the characteristic traits of such a predisposition. Is he going to be a practitioner of classical social democratic ideology? I hope he does. However, in my opinion, he does not have the luxury of time and space to do so given the constraints of the Ghanaian economy and the unrealistic expectations of the masses.
Will he be able to bring about the socio-economic transformation of Ghana that he promised? A transformational leader he certainly is not, but if he is able to bring about some measure of positive change without destroying the foundations set by the outgoing administration I will be pleasantly surprised.
The restless wannabes in the NDC will try their damnedest to ride roughshod over everything JAK and the NPP stood for in the past eight years. Generalissimo is already waiting in the wings for the red carpet to be rolled out for him. Hopefully the true democrats within the JAM government will stand their ground from day one. The task ahead is to better the lot of Ghanaians and not the building of a platform to dramatise the hatred of JAK and the NPP.
To The Nerd-in-Chief Himself
The JAM presidency, I presume, will be characterised by a great deal of pragmatic equipoising. However as Ghanaians are not particularly known for tolerance for long-term economic policies, any attempt to employ long-tenured economic models, will be misconstrued as non-performance and the government may risk being voted out of office in the next election.
There is another lesson in the political history of Ghana that JAM needs to learn fast. And that is: every time a government had tried to implement an economic program that called for any measure of sacrifice on the part of the masses, they were voted out of office in the next election. We are allergic to all forms of sacrifice. The secret is that you must do the hard stuff whilst we enjoy the fruits of your labour with reckless abandon.
Mr president, don’t count on Ghanaians to tarry for you if you intend going for a long furlough on the mountain to workout the blueprints for our economic salvation.
We are simply a myopic and impatient bunch.
Whatever your plans, keep one thing in mind: the manna must start falling now!
Last lesson, JAM. Your tendency of overly relying on your NDC pals to take the initiative while you sneak out to cool off, as you did during the campaigns, could lead to a lapse of presidential oversight in your administration.
Hopefully you will stay at the helm of government now that you are the Head of state, Commander-in-Chief as well as Head of government.
In the final analysis, Ghanaians will be the arbiters of the JAM presidency in 2012.

I wish JAM, his government and Ghana the best of luck.
Bon Voyage Mr president!!!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

My Expectations and Predictions for 2009

2009 has begun in full force.
The recent high pitch political temperatures in Ghana and the US are expected to cool down appreciably after the inaugurations of the respective presidents and with that, hopefully, politics will be left in the hands of politicians, whilst the rest of us move on with our lives.
On the global scene, let us hope that with an inspirational president in the person of Barack Obama in the White House and the economic stimulus package working its way through the system, the global economy will begin to find its own positive rhythm after the recent terrible economic recession and the associated socio-economic upheavals.
We will certainly see a bit of light inside the tunnel by the last quarter of 2009.
The oil price will begin to rise gradually again as global consumption begins to pick up. The manufacturing and the resources sectors will once again become the drivers of global revival as the positive momentum makes its way through the global economy.

Back at home in Ghana, let us pray and hope that President John. Atta-Mills (JAM) will be allowed( you know by who?) to appoint a competent team to fulfil his vision for a better Ghana. My fear is that a certain clique within the NDC will do the utmost to hijack real power from him. Expect a bitter infighting for the plumb ministerial portfolios by the different blocs in the NDC.
Not much though is expected to happen in Ghana in 2009. The new government will need time and space to sync up with the economic realities on the ground as well as to apply their minds and work their way through the short- to medium- term economic policy jungle out there at a time of restricted investments, dwindling remittances and curtailed capital flows to emerging markets.. Any appreciable socio-economic change therefore can only take place from 2011 onwards; some months after the oil pumps are switched on and the stream of oil revenue begin to flow into the Ghanaian economy.

On a personal front, I need to explore some business initiatives to enlarge my tent.
The problem is, I am still in the off-work mode and I am finding it pretty tedious to get back into gear. I hope I am able to become my productive self before the beginning of next week.

I pray that you become tuned to the possibilities out there around you and that you grab with both hands all the opportunities that come your way throughout two thousand and nice!