Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Charge Him For Refusing To Think

Desperate times, they say, call for desperate measures.
Bob Mugabe has been conned and scorned. Big time.
A woman by the local name of Nomatter Takira, a fetish priestess( an ancestral medium) of a sort needed money, a lot of it, in cash-strapped Zimbabwe. Like everybody, she knew where the money was in the land- under the mattresses and in the pockets of the ZANU-PF apparatchiks.
So. She devised a plan of action to get what she wanted.
And got it she did- a solid million dollars, Obama dollars I mean!
So what was her plot?
She got for herself a can of diesel(fuel), a hosepipe, a hungry and desperate young man and set off for one of the huge boulders that adorn the environs of the provincial town, Chinhoyi.
Once there, she dispatched the young man with the can to a hideout somewhere on the boulder away from the prying eyes of people .
The nozzle of the hosepipe was dragged to the top of the boulder. The other end was inserted in the can of diesel. Pretty soon precious diesel was gushing on top of 'magic' boulder when the pipe was opened. That done, she retreats to town to announce her magical conjugations to lieutenants of the strongman. This 'Good News' shortly after reaches Mugabe's ear, himself a son of the province, and he quickly sends senior members of his cabal for first hand evidence of the magical prowess of this new 'Ambuya Nehanda'.
With the young man in place 'the experiment' is repeated and Bob's envoys are awed into stupor as they see refined diesel gushing from the top of the said boulder. They return to Bob with the news that Zimbabwe's diesel woes are eternally over.
Days later, state house orders that Madam Takira be treated like a queen. And an amount of $1m is offloaded to treat her good on the finer things of life for her kindly helping Zimbabwe in her hour of need.
However the fact that diesel can only be obtained through a refinery process only began to dawn on some of the inner cycle of the Mugabe regime days later and another team was secretly sent to make a thorough check of the 'discovery'.
This week Mbuya Takira was charged for defrauding the state.
The question on many people's mind however is how could a whole state, including the presidency, be doped by something so obviously questionable.
My conclusion is that Mugabe and his cabal are clinically and criminally stupid.
Methinks Mugabe and his cabal should be charged in place of Nomatter Takira for gross stupidity.

6 comments:

Abena said...

Absolutely hilarious and very worrying at the same time...Have things gotten so bad that the ministers and president would be so easily duped?

Kwegyirba Aggrey-Orleans said...

Hahaha. This is the funniest story ever! So absurd! A drowning man will clutch at straws.

posekyere said...

Hi Abena.
yes, Zimbabwe is really in pretty bad shape.
The tales from the corner of Bob are beyond sad.He is taking the whole nation down with him.
The man still does not get it!

posekyere said...

Yes Kwegyirba.
All the signs point to a state of acute desperation in Bob's corner.
Whom the gods will destroy, they first make mad.

Nana Yaw Asiedu said...

Well, if one of the 'people' is taking back a million of the dollars RGM and his cronies 'took' from the 'people' why should it matter? But, then, again, it only matters because RGM is clearly senile or close to it.

posekyere said...

Thanks NY.
I guess Zimbabwe is living by the rules of 'the animal farm'. Some animals are more equal than others in Mugabeland.